Happiness Newsletter
Issue # 603 “Instead of comparing our lot with that of those who are more fortunate than we are, we should compare it with the lot of the great majority of our fellow men. It then appears that we are among the privileged.” | -- Hellen Keller |
|
|
Happiness Article MANAGING THE FEAR OF LONELINESS By Stanley Popovich Sometime or another we will experience a time when we are alone. The first step is to become comfortable with yourself and having the self-confidence that you will be able to manage being alone. There is nothing wrong with being alone. If being alone bothers you then seeing a counselor can help you with these issues. In the meantime, here is a short list of techniques that a person can use so that the fear of being alone doesn’t become a major issue in their lives. The first step is to find an activity that you enjoy and where you can meet a lot of people. For instance, joining a group activity such as a volleyball group, women’s club, or making crafts can be a great way to meet people. Doing something that you like to do will make you happy and will increase your chances of making friends. Spending time with animals can be a great source of companionship. Having a dog or cat can make us feel loved. If you don’t own a dog or cat, then volunteer at the local animal shelter. Spending time with an animal or pet can help us to feel better and can be of good company to all of us whether we are alone or not. Helping others through community service can be of some help. There are many people out there who could benefit from your time and talents. Helping others can give you a source of pride, help you feel better about yourself, and can provide long lasting friendships. Give it a try and you will be surprised. Challenge your negative thinking with positive statements and realistic thinking. When encountering thoughts that make your lonely or depressed, challenge those thoughts by asking yourself questions that will maintain objectivity and common sense. For example, some people may think that if they are alone at the present time then they will always be alone. This is not true. Even if your alone today doesn’t mean that you will be alone all the time. No one can predict the future with one hundred percent accuracy. It isn’t fun being alone, but sometimes there are worse things. For instance, imagine that you are married or stuck in a relationship that you can’t get out of and also makes you miserable. Not only do you have to live with this person, there is no way to get out of the relationship because of various financial or personal reasons. As a result, you are stuck living with someone that you can’t stand and makes you depressed every single day of your life. With this viewpoint, being alone doesn’t sound that bad. The important thing is to do something constructive. Sitting around and doing nothing will not make things any better whether it is dealing with the fear of being alone or something else. Go out and do something that you like to do. In addition, take it one day at a time and stay committed in trying to solve your problem. BIOGRAPHY: Stan Popovich is the author of "A Layman's Guide to Managing Fear Using Psychology, Christianity and Non Resistant Methods" - an easy to read book that presents a general overview of techniques that are effective in managing persistent fears and anxieties. For additional information go to: http://www.managingfear.com/
Book Review Title: Don't Sweat the Small Stuff--and it's all small stuff
Author: Richard Carlson |
Got a stress case in your life? Of course you do: "Without question, many of us have mastered the neurotic art of spending much of our lives worrying about a variety of things all at once." Carlson's cheerful book aims to make us stop and smell--if not roses--whatever is sitting in front of our noses. Don't Sweat the Small Stuff... offers 100 meditations designed to make you appreciate being alive, keep your emotions (especially anger and dissatisfaction) in proper perspective, and cherish other people as the unique miracles they are. It's an owner's manual of the heart, and if you follow the directions, you will be a happier, more harmonious person. Like Stairmasters, oat bran, and other things that are good for you, the meditations take discipline. Even so, some of the strategies are kind of fun.
Subscribe/Unsubscribe You have received this newsletter because you registered for it on our website or someone forwarded it to you. To subscribe to this Newsletter or to unsubscribe from this Newsletter, please visit www.myhappiness.com or email
This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it
|
Publisher:
MyHappiness
www.MyHappiness.com
E-Mail:
This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it
Copyright © 2005 Alchemy, Inc. All rights reserved |
Happiness Newsletter
Issue # 602
“Holding anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. “ | -- Gautam Buddha |
|
|
Happiness Article
Goal Setting for Happiness
By Sanjiv Sahay
Goals are the key to achieving anything in life and so it is with achieving happiness. Happiness comes from a steady progress towards meaningful goals which are highly desirable to the individual. Overall goals need to be broken up into specific goals for each aspect of your life e.g. health, career, relationships etc. Goals must be realistic and achievable, but at the same time they should be attractive enough to excite you and make you enthusiastic about achieving them.
The key to understanding your real goals is to ask yourself these three questions.
What would I want to do if I had only six months to live?
- What would I want to have or do if an angel had granted me one wish which would be fulfilled instantly?
- Would I be truly happy if I actually got whatever I thought I most deeply wanted and what would I do with it?
To clarify these questions – assume that a doctor told you today that you had only six months more to live. What would be the things you would like to do during those six months? These things would be your true priorities.
If there were no obstacles to your doing or possessing anything you wanted – what would that be? You will have think beyond your self imposed limitations and express your true desires.
Is what you think you want most, really what you want most? What are you going to do with it and will that make you truly happy? Say you thought your most ardent wish was to have a million dollars – what would you do with it? Would doing that make you truly happy? Think of some other millionaires and consider if they are truly happy in the way that you want to be.
Identify goals for all the aspects of your life that impact your happiness. These include relationships, financials, career, health, attitude etc. Then you can prioritize these goals so you work on the most important ones first. Once you know the goals most desired by you, develop the sub goals which will need to be achieved in order to achieve the primary goals e.g. if the primary goal is to develop strong family relationships, then one of the sub goals could be to develop reasonable financial security so as to afford more free time with the family. For each area you also need to develop intermediate goals – what you will achieve in five years/one year/six months/one month. These goals need to be specific and written down. To simplify the task of setting your goals you can follow the process given in “Ways to Happiness” at http://www.myhappiness.com .
Next you need to assess your present status on each one of the areas where you have defined goals e.g. if your financial goal is to have a hundred thousand dollars in five years and twenty thousand dollars in one year, then you need to assess what you have now. If you total up your savings and find that you have ten thousand dollars today, then you need to save ten thousand dollars more in the next twelve months. If that is totally impossible in today’s circumstances, then see if you can change your circumstances e.g. get a second job, or learn a new skill and get a higher paying job or reduce some non critical expenses. If even this is not feasible then revise your goals to make them achievable within the constraints you define for yourself. It is important to get in the habit of achieving your goals. You can revise them upwards after you get more confidence in your abilities. You must be totally convinced that you can achieve your goals.
At the end of this exercise you will have a set of achievable goals which are highly desirable to you. Visualize yourself achieving the goals – having a loving spouse, being rich and famous etc. Then draw up a specific and time bound plan to achieve the goals and fix benchmarks to measure your progress.
Since these goals are achievable and also highly desirable to you, you will discover that a deep sense of satisfaction and lasting happiness will come merely by making steady progress towards your goals.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Book Review
Title: The Art of Happiness: A Handbook for Living
Author: Dalai Lama, Howard C. Cutler
